Source: Daily Telegraph

Having a baby 'costs two months sleep a year'

By Sarah Womack, Social Affairs Correspondent

Last Updated: 30/03/2007

While loss of sleep is an accepted part of bringing a baby into the world, perhaps not so many parents realised that they can lose two months sleep during the first year of their infant's life. Research published today shows that a third of new parents lose that amount of sleep and reports a new condition - Competitive Sleep Syndrome.

It seems almost half of new parents argue over who has less sleep, and a fifth become competitive with friends by bragging, often falsely, about how good their baby is at sleeping through the night. Inevitably, mothers blame fathers for their own sleep deficit, saying men are slow to get out of bed in the night. While 42% of mothers say they respond to their baby's night-time cries within 30 seconds, only 12% believe their partner does, and 68% believe it takes their partner five minutes or longer.

Only 1% of women claim to be able to sleep through crying but 43% claim their partner can.

The survey was conducted by the nursery products company Tomy, which said a third of parents regularly lose 90 minutes sleep a night, equivalent to a full night's sleep every week or 68 in a year. A further 1:5 parents claim to lose more than three hours every night - almost three full nights a week.

Parents regard establishing regular sleep patterns as the biggest challenge in the first year, ahead of ensuring a balanced diet, bonding with the baby, getting the support they needed from partners, or maintaining a social life. Only 2% said their baby slept through from the night it was born, with 1:5 parents typically up four times a night or more with their baby in its first month.

By the age of one, 38% of babies are still not sleeping through, while 15% of parents with one-to two-year-olds are still experiencing disrupted sleep.
1:10 parents regularly find their hope of sleep ends by 5.30am while most are up by 6.30am, seven days a week.

Almost a third describe their experience of sleep loss in the first months as "awful". Many parents believe their experience leaves a permanent legacy, saying they are now significantly lighter sleepers as a result of listening for their baby. 1:10 experience genuine sleep problems themselves.

Meanwhile, a quarter of the 500 parents interviewed admitted experiencing strained relationships with their partner at a time when they needed them most. This was brought on by the marked gender differences many mothers believe exist in responses to night crying.

Joanne Gray, the head of nursery for Tomy, said: "It's hardly surprising with figures like these that many new parents are left reeling by their experiences of sleep deprivation in the first year. "Being up with a screaming baby, several times in the night can be a very lonely experience, especially if you're not getting support.

"Our message is simple - you're not alone."

Many exhausted parents in the study admitted resorting to desperate measures. A quarter have gone on long, unnecessary drives with their baby and the same number have pretended to be asleep, hoping the baby will copy them.

The solutions are often simple. More than two-thirds of parents find introducing a bath into bedtime routine brings good sleep patterns and 30% rely on a night light.